The Things College Won’t Teach You

Even though these things are things you should learn in college – they get skipped over. Now, granted, these are not exactly the most extravagant things. They are not going to come to you when your professor assigns you to read several of Shakespeare’s works. It just doesn’t work that way. These are practical matters that get skipped over.

College: (photo by mmfleurdenuit)

College does teach you organization though! (photo by mmfleurdenuit)

#1. Dividing checks multiple ways.

Your best bet is to just ask for separate checks from the start. Let’s face it, you’re probably too drunk to figure it out anyway. And yes, economics failed to teach you this. Granted, they didn’t expect you to make poor choices like splitting a check evenly when everyone may have had varied price-ranges.

#2. You need sleep.

Nope, this is completely out of the curriculum. And how could it be when being a college student demands that you spend sleepless hours into the night trying to finish a paper that’s due in three hours? The only lesson I can hear from this is that you need to take afternoon and night classes. But yes – college won’t teach you that it’s probably a really, really, really good idea to sleep sometimes. No, not even sometimes. I mean on a regular basis – getting adequate sleep.

#3. How to do your taxes.

If you’re anything like me, you’re stubborn. And when tax season rolls around – you’re not going to go to an accountant. No, sir! Not when you can do it yourself. Unfortunately, one of the most important things in our economy is not taught to us – either in high school or college. And why is that? Well, frankly, I’m not sure – but they should start implementing it! I mean, after all, messing up on your taxes can be a federal offense. That stuff’s scary business.

#4. How to move out.

In a past post, I covered the real cost of moving out of your parent’s place. Whether it be an apartment, condo, town home, or perhaps even an actual house – you don’t truly know the cost of moving and the cost of living until you’re in the midst of it. And we can find college to be the scapegoat for this.

They never explain what it means to have rights as a tenant, legalities that come along with subletting, among other things. And those are things you need to know before you move out.

#5. How to budget.

Because there’s no formula – everyone’s needs, wants, and budgets are different. But again, having a scapegoat is nice. College, why you no teach budgeting? As we spend our every last penny on alcohol and late night Applebee’s regrets – could we have ever seen this coming?

So here are five things that college won’t teach you, but they rightfully should. For now, the best thing to do is to talk to an adult you trust about it. Whether that be your parents, or a friend’s family – or whatever.

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